FORGET NONE OF HIS BENEFITS, volume 7, number 6, February 7, 2008

But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint, I Timothy 2:15.

A Vision For Biblical Womanhood

Susannah and Samuel Wesley were married in 1690 and God blessed them with nineteen children, nine of whom were stillborn or died in infancy. Of the remaining ten children, seven were girls and three were boys, the most famous of them being John and Charles Wesley, leaders in the Evangelical Great Awakening of the 18th century. One of their grown daughters suffered nine miscarriages, another had five children stillborn, another died in giving birth, and a forth was married to a drunkard. These girls learned how to suffer hardship and live gloriously due to their mother’s instruction. John, who stood only five feet, two inches tall became a powerful preacher, and Charles wrote over 9000 hymns. Susannah gloriously illustrated the promise of the Apostle Paul for women who see God in their child rearing. Paul is making a case for male leadership in the church of Christ , stating that men lead from the top down; and he then turns his attention to the value of women, saying that they lead from the bottom up, intentionally and prayerfully rearing children who can change the world. Indeed the old adage, “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world,” is very present in this text.

Women, I wish to encourage you with a vision for Biblical womanhood, something I imagine you need in light of the lies foisted upon you by our secularized world. Our world says, “You are justified in ungodly behavior due to emotional, hormonal, or menopausal issues.” It tells you that you can only be fulfilled if you are married or if you are married to a godly man who will lead you spiritually. Are there physical and emotional issues which plague you? Should your husband lead you? Of course, but these do not give you a right to violent outbursts, or to nag your husband, or to feel slighted by God. Samuel Wesley, a minister, did not manage money very well, ending up in debtor’s prison. He also seemed to be overbearing in his leadership style. On one occasion he prayed in their family devotional time for William of Orange who had become king of England . Many believed he had no right to the throne and when Susannah refused to say, “Amen” to her husband’s prayer he said, “I will not live in the house or sleep in the bed of a woman who will not honor me.” He left for six months and seemed to get over it when William died and Queen Anne came to the throne. There is no indication of Susannah exhibiting sinful reactions to her husband’s heavy-handedness.

Women, you are also told that you are the only one who can change your husband, falling into the pattern of Eve whose desire was for her husband, a picture of a nagging woman. But this route proves you are neglecting your two most powerful weapons- prayer and a godly life, I Peter 3:1, 2. Submission to your husband is God’s calling on your life (Ephesians 5:22 -24), and by this Paul does not mean an inferior, second class, doormat existence. A husband is a fool who does not value his wife, who refuses to understand her, who does not delegate major areas of responsibility to her, like a manager who is overbearing or micro-managing in his style will frustrate his subordinates. Susannah was a gifted Bible teacher (she knew Hebrew and Greek) and was probably fluent in French as well, and the curator who handled the preaching while Samuel was away resented the fact that so many listened to her and not to him. The curator informed Samuel who told Susannah to stop teaching. She wrote back and said, “If you give me a specific command then I will stop, but then realize you will be accountable to God for the souls of those who will go to hell.”  This is a wise approach to the issue of submission, making clear her husband understands the issues, and then doing as he directs. Samuel relented and she continued teaching. Incidentally, John and Charles were part of these classes and small house meetings would later become the foundation of the Methodist movement under John Wesley, another principle he learned from his mother.

Then there is the lie, “I am worth nothing and thus must love myself more.” The problem with you, and all of us for that matter, is not that you don’t love yourself enough but that you love yourself too much. Any time you feel slighted or wronged proves my point. We should marvel that people don’t treat us any worse than they do, due to the sin lurking in our hearts. Many younger women today are told that they can have it all- career, big money, husband, children, motherhood. Even Katharine Hepburn acknowledged that a woman cannot have it all, that something must give, either one’s career or her children.  And when women stay home to rear their children they are told that it is mindless, boring, unproductive, below your skill set. Susannah Wesley home schooled her children six hours a day, found time to spend one hour each week with each one, managed the family finances, and did all this with one servant to help her. Obviously she was a wonderful manager, training the older children to help with the younger ones. Another lie is, “I can delegate the rearing of my children to a day care center or nanny.” It simply does not work that way. Can you send your young children to play time or have a nanny help you? Of course you can, but that’s different than thinking someone else can rear your children.

Then you are told that outer beauty is more important than inner beauty. Surely I don’t need to prove this point. I don’t need to cite statistics about eating disorders, imprudent cosmetic surgery, and the latest obsession, teeth whitening where women are ruining their teeth with excessive whitening. Instead you need to pursue the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. Susannah Wesley, in the midst of all she did, found two hours each day to pray and read the Bible. No doubt there were many times when up in the middle of the night, nursing a baby, candle lit on a table, she read and prayed. John says that he remembered his mother, when needing private time with God, and not being able to find it, simply raising her apron over her face so that she could pray. The only thing which can motivate you, which can empower you to live out your Biblical vision of womanhood is to draw near to the Lord Jesus, like the sinful woman in Luke 7, the harlot who bathed the feet of Jesus with her tears, who anointed Him for burial with the expensive ointment. Jesus says that she loved much because she was forgiven much. You and I, in a spiritual sense, are the harlot because we had gone after false gods, but you are redeemed by the blood of Christ. You have been forgiven much so you can love much. Trust God to work His grace in you so that you may rear children who will transform our world.  It is not easy, and the days and nights seem long, but the years are short. I cannot believe that our children are grown and they now have children.  May God give you encouragement to stay at your glorious, high calling. There is a great deal more in my sermon of January 13 on our website www.christcpc.org

FORGET NONE OF HIS BENEFITS is a weekly devotional by Reverend Al Baker, pastor of Christ Community Presbyterian Church in West Hartford, Connecticut.

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