FORGET NONE OF HIS BENEFITS, volume 8, number 35, August 27, 2009
To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain . . . , Genesis 3:16.
The Woman’s Relentless Pain and Why
Women are under severe pressure these days. They have been told by feminists for over forty years that they do not need men, that they do not need children, that instead they ought to pursue the work world and make their impact there. Most women, however, have an innate, perhaps even insatiable desire, to have a man and children. These obviously are in conflict with each other. Why can’t women leave the man and children thing alone? And why is it that most women, many times during their lives, suffer untold mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual pain? Why do some women return to men who are verbally, physically, and sexually abusive to them? And why do we find, in our day, a preponderance of effeminate men, those who abandon their wives, girlfriends, and children, leaving them to fend for themselves, who refuse to lead and provide for those under their charge?
All of these problems are addressed in this one verse dealing with the sanctions God places on woman due to her listening to the serpent. Literally, the Hebrew text has it, “Multiplying, I will multiply your pain, especially the pain of childbirth, yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will reign over you.” This succinct, simple, and straightforward proclamation explains everything about the woman’s relentless pain. God tells Eve that He will multiply, further amplify, turn up the volume and intensity, as it were, of her pain. The word “pain” also carries with it the notion of vexation, anxiety, and deep physical pain. The woman’s pain is not limited to pregnancy and childbirth, though that is certainly included. It covers everything in her life—the emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and hormonal. I know women who have suffered terribly at the infidelity of their husbands, finding it difficult to function normally, taking years to overcome the trauma in order to carry on with the simplest of life details. I have known good women who, reeling from such an event, go after another man who is not any better than the first one she trusted. I have known women who, in their sixties, seventies, and eighties have experienced untold suffering through osteoporosis. I have known women, who in a desire to look good (in their minds this means to be skin and bones) are malnourished. This, coupled with the birth of a baby and post partum depression and consequent hormone levels which have gone awry, have rendered them mentally unstable, causing these godly women who formerly professed great faith in Jesus, to become convinced that they have committed the unpardonable sin and are lost forever.
I have known kind, gracious, and beautiful women who have constantly gone back to men who have abused them. God says that the woman’s desire will be for her husband but he will reign over her. This is not a sweet, romantic declaration of a woman’s love for “her man.” The Hebrew word “desire” is used in Genesis 4:7 in referring to Cain who has murdered his brother Abel. God says to him that sin is crouching at the door and its desire is for him, but he must rule over it. The same words are used here, showing us that the desire a woman has for her husband is perverse, sordid, and inordinate. In some cases a woman’s desire for her husband is seen in exalting him, refusing to see or confront him about his faults. At other times it means having a very short memory about the abuse he has used against her, running back to him when he shows a few tears. At other times it shows itself in the woman dominating her husband, calling the shots. Some husbands, due to their own sin problems, are only too willing to allow her to “wear the pants”, abdicating, abandoning their God given responsibility of headship.
These things happen because God said they were the sanctions that have come upon women due to the fall into sin—more specifically Eve’s part in this universal fall. This begs a vital question, doesn’t it? Why would God do this? Why would He bring such suffering upon the woman (next week I will write about His sanctions on the man)? Isn’t He going a bit far? God wants women to remember that their problems go back to Eve, that as daughters of Eve, they suffer too. But why? Because God in mercy and grace wants women to jettison the lie so prominent in our lives—I don’t have enough. He wants us to understand that we, in fact, do have enough. We have Jesus. God uses the physical, mental, emotional, hormonal, and spiritual suffering of women to drive them to Jesus, that they may find Him to be their everything.
Women, if you are looking to your husband to meet your needs, if you are hoping your children can give you meaning, if you are looking to wealth and security to be your comfort, if you are planning on long life of good health to give you purpose, then you will be disappointed. The simple fact is that no one but Jesus can sustain you, give you comfort, meet your needs. I am not saying that your husband ought not to love you and serve you. I am not saying that your children ought not to respect you. I am not saying that exercise, diet, and thinking “good thoughts” are not helpful. I am saying, however, that you cannot find true comfort in these things. God is using your mental, physical, emotional, hormonal, and spiritual pain, that which is often relentless, to drive you to Jesus. In Luke 7:36ff we find Jesus reclining at table with a Pharisee and a sinful woman kneels before Him, breaking an alabaster vial of expensive ointment on His feet, proceeding to bathe His feet in her profuse tears, wiping both with her hair. The Pharisee is inwardly wondering at such contemptuous behavior, and Jesus tells him a parable about two men who are forgiven their debts. One was forgiven five hundred denarii and the other fifty denarii. “Which will love more?” Jesus asked. The obvious answer is the one who is forgiven the most. Women—you need to keep in mind, that regardless of your moral and spiritual life, you are the sinful woman in this story. You have been forgiven much, so therefore you are able to love much. Ask God to show you more and more the depth of your sin. Don’t stop there, however. This only leads to morbid introspection. You must also see the glory of God in Jesus. Ask Him to show you more and more His marvelous, everlasting loving kindness. When you awaken in the middle of the night in the mental, physical, emotional pain of womanhood, run to Jesus for refuge and strength. Cry out to Him saying, “Jesus, you must help me. I have no other place of refuge.” He promises to meet you in His glorious presence and power.
FORGET NONE OF HIS BENEFITS is a weekly devotional by Reverend Al Baker, pastor of Christ Community Presbyterian Church in West Hartford, Connecticut.
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